My Apologies to Women Everywhere (And Eli Manning)

 I have a confession to make. Sometimes I can be a bit of a misogynist. Now I don’t beat up women or call them stupid when they ask a question or suggest that they belong in the kitchen making me a sandwich. But on Sundays during football season I have been known to yell at my T.V. “What kind of bullsh*t arm tackle was that you effin’ p&ssy. Take your g.d. skirt off and man the eff up.”



One of my favorite t-shirts
now headed to the Goodwill pile.

 Of course, I realized what I was yelling was wrong, but I always explained it away, saying, “I am not a feminist on Sundays (and some Mondays. And Saturdays. And the occasional Thursday night).

 But then, recently, I was reading my Twitter feed and a couple of the sport’s bloggers I follow were talking smack about an opposing team. And as is often the case when a bunch of drunk white guys get together to talk sports – the jabs questioning opposing team members sexuality started flying. This pissed me off. After all, being gay doesn’t mean one can’t be strong or tough or good at sports. I have known a number of gay men who could kick the crap out of the overweight, out of shape bloggers making these comments, which is exactly what I was typing into my iPhone when it occurred to me that these same bloggers were making just as disparaging remarks about women and just like my tough gay friends, I am pretty sure I can take a number of these guys.

No wonder Gloria has stopped taking my calls. Apparently I have become less than a feminist. I’ve become a misogynist.

In all my years of yelling at the T.V. (and it has been many, many years) I don’t think I have once, stooped so low as to question a player’s sexual preference or suggest they engage in homosexual activity. So why then when insulting other team’s quarterbacks (or expressing my displeasure with a member of our team) would I scream at my television, “my mother tackles harder than that.”

Really? I was suggesting if a player was less woman-like (or less like my own mother who is one of the toughest women I know) they might be better able get the job done. Really?

Because with everything we have been reading recently about how women are taking over the world and men might soon become irrelevant; that more women are going to college, and take up a greater percentage of the work force and are bringing home higher paychecks than their male spouses, why are we still suggesting men man-up?

Maybe it is time we start telling them to woman-up.

To put a skirt on.