I wear bikinis. Not because I have a smokin’ hot body that I love to show off -- I have what Match.com calls an “athletic build.” No, I wear bikinis because I have a very short torso and one piece suits make me look like an over-sized toddler.
The thing is, I never looked good in a bikini either. But I just faked the confidence, knowing that there was always going to be someone that looked worse than me in a bikini nearby and if there wasn’t, my friends and family would love me despite my thick thighs and tummy rolls.
I didn’t go into Victoria’s Secret looking for a new bikini. I went in looking for a pretty bra that didn’t have padding or underwire. As you know, I have a small chest and I think one of the benefits of such should be not enduring such hardships during the dog days of summer.
Unfortunately, it seems most bra manufacturers disagree. I can find pretty bras that are so well padded they stand up on their own or comfortable no frills bras that are not cute and really are almost embarrassingly ugly.
So, after the sales girl tried to sell me on a matronly looking bra that almost met my requirements (“this isn’t padding so much as it’s lining”), I wandered over to the bathing suit section. Earlier I had purchased a strapless dress and thought it would be nice to find a strapless bikini that would help get rid of my halter top tan lines.
I found two with potential. I walked to the back of the store to the dressing rooms.
I put on the first bikini; a yellow number with crazy strings that cross and tie in the back. I was skeptical, but tried it on anyway figuring if it looked ridiculous I might feel better about myself in the second one -- a very typical bandeau style top in bright pink.
To my surprise, I didn’t hate it. I turned and looked at my rear and still didn’t hate it. I let out my gut (I had been sucking it in up to this point) and still didn’t hate it. I decided I had to still be high from the five miles I ran that morning and so I pulled it off to try on the next one.
But I didn’t love the second bikini. It made me look and feel the same way all my other bikinis did. My waist looked too thick as did my thighs. I pulled it off and put the yellow one back on.
Miraculously my body transformed back into one that I could be proud of. I twisted and turned some more, smiling at what I saw. Can you believe it? I was in a dressing room, in a bathing suit, smiling.
Sure I have read (and memorized) all the magazine articles about finding the perfect two piece to match your body. I just never believed them. But here I was standing in a skimpy two-piece looking forward to wearing it in public.
And I did. Of course, by public I merely mean in front of Salty, the Duchess and Bridie at Salty’s pool in North Wildwood. But still, my confidence never faltered nor did it ever have to be faked. Now I am thinking about going online and buying a couple more of this exact suit. Just in case I never find this sort of happiness with a bikini again.