Forget Swine Flu -- There Is Another Epidemic Sweeping The Nation

I can confirm a third reported case of Boy Disease.

I spoke with Grace last week. I wanted to check in and make sure she was okay. Turns out she wasn’t feeling so hot. See, the guy she had been seeing recently, and whom she was friends with for a lot longer, suddenly dropped off the map. No calls, no texts no emails. Nothing. I could hear her smile as she said, “Part of me hopes he has the Swine Flu, at least that would explain things.”

I shook my head. Boy Disease.

Like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, BD encompasses a variety of symptoms ranging from inability to tell time to inability to commit to a color for the bedroom. Also, like CFS, there is no treatment. Sometimes, the afflicted will wake up one morning, completely cured. But more likely than not, they just continue wreaking havoc and driving the women that try to love them crazy.

Unfortunately there is not much you can do to combat the spread of this disease. Just sigh, drink lots of wine, bitch to your friends and hope that the next guy you meet will be immune.