Monday, October 12, 2009

It’s Official: Romance is Dead

When do you think is too soon in a new relationship to ask for a DNA swab?

I have a first date tomorrow night. And while yes, my past history would strongly indicate that this will be a first and last date, you all know I have been voraciously devouring dating and relationship advice books and so I am feeling very confident that this could be the beginning of something truly wonderful and magnificent.

Or at the very least that there will be a second date.

And while every book I have read has taught me to withhold sex until I get a commitment, none of them have mentioned when it is okay to ask for DNA to test for sexual compatibility.

What? You didn’t know you could test for that?

Okay, so neither did I. But then I read an article in this month’s Women’s Health and apparently, now you can. There are even Internet dating sites straight out of the movie Gattaca that use this testing as a way of matching you with potential life partners.

According to the article there are three pairs of genes that make up MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex) and the more different yours and your mates MHC the more you will enjoy each other’s scent, more you will enjoy having sex with each other, and the more likely you are to produce healthier offspring. No lie. 

Back in 1994 some really bored scientists discovered (using a bunch of smelly t-shirts) that women have the natural ability to detect men with opposite MHC as the women sniffing t-shirts belonging to guys with opposite MHC and similar MHC found those t-shirts worn by men with opposite MHC sexier. That is, women who were not on the Pill. Women on the Pill choose poorly, picking t-shirts belonging to men with similar MHC. But really, aren’t women on the Pill always making poor choices?

The problem, of course, is that it is allergy season. And despite my homeopathic remedies, I have been really stuffy lately. So, I am not entirely sure I can rely on my sniffer to determine if Mr. Tuesday Night and I will be good in bed together. Hence, my question about the DNA swab.

I imagine I could find out the old fashion way, but god, now that seems so 1993.


Raised by Republicans said...

So I'm guessing men don't have this ability? Hmm...figures. That'd be too convenient if both parties involved could recognize that they were compatible.

...sorry, I'm bitter right now. I had an awkward date last night with a guy who was super into me but I had no chemistry with whatsoever. I'm going to have to pull the, "Hey, I think you're a really nice guy, but I don't see you like that," in the near future. That makes me feel like such a bitch. It's just getting increasingly frustrating that every single guy that's into me I feel absolutely no attraction towards. Is it even worth trying for a second date if you felt like you were wasting your time on the first?

Tatiana said...

Oh, RbR, friends and I have often debated this very issue and have decided when this is the case a second date is required -- the much dreaded is-there-any-chemistry-second date. The thought process behind this date is that no one really behaves well on the first date. You (not you personally but you in the collective) are nervous and sweating and anxious that you are going to use the wrong fork and chemistry is hard to come by under those circumstances.

Now, second dates aren't much better (there is still some tension) but it is relaxed in that the fear of rejection is significantly reduced. So give the guy a second chance and if there is still no chemistry, give him the talk.