Boy, Oh Boy

Before I start this post, let me get a couple of definitions out of the way so we are all on the same page.

man: noun, the male of the Homosapiens species that has his shit together. Example: Your friend that is funny, and smart, and has a job with a future and a life he enjoys, and that you always describe to all your girlfriends as “a great
guy.”

over-aged boy: noun, the male of the Homosapiens species that hasn’t grown up. Example: the hot guy that you met at a bar, with an awesome job and a nice car, that isn’t going to tell you about his girlfriend because he subscribes to the philosophy, “what she doesn’t know can’t hurt him.” See also Generation of Guys.

Now that that is all cleared up, I will continue.

When I was still hunting, I would occasionally find myself on the trail (or in the arms) of an over-aged boy. My reasoning was simple. Looking for a mate is exhausting work. Sometimes a woman needs a break; needs to have a little fun. And when she does, over-aged boys are where it’s at – so long as you know what you are in for.

Because, while the differences between men and over-aged boys aren’t always as clear as my above examples, once you know you are with an over-aged boy, you have a choice to make. You can either a) move on, because that is not what you are looking for, or b) hang out, have your fun, and when you are through, move on.

Of course, there is a third option – stick around and hope he grows up. I cannot stress enough how much I don’t recommend this.

However, a couple of weeks ago I posted the notice for single ladies about picking up guys and the next day brought another IM session with the Source.

He was incredulous that I was telling my readers to pick up boys. He wants us out there looking for men.

I argued that, while the goal is a man, sometimes a woman just wants to let her hair down and make-out with someone she shouldn't. And when that time comes, she should take a book to a bar and find herself a boy. If she happens upon a man, super. If not, she has herself a little fun and no one gets hurt.

The source countered that the huntress is hurting herself by being distracted by the boy. His words:

As a huntress your goal is to bag a long term mate, a boy is like a rabbit running across your path, distracting you from the main game.

He isn’t wrong. The main reason for my ending the text relationship with the Republican was that I found it was just enough of a relationship to keep me content. It distracted me from my actual hunt.

But if the Republican was only a one night thing, would it really have been so detrimental?

Only you can answer this for yourself. I will say, I know from experience it is a slippery slope. Boys are a lot of fun and they out-number men by a lot. But if you find yourself getting too comfortable, blowing off dates with potential men to spend time with your boy-friend, day-dreaming of long-term plans, or (gasp) thinking that maybe he will change, get out as soon as you can.

For my part, now that I am resigned to being single for life, I am looking forward to having fun with over-aged boys again.

Where My Girls At?

Guys, men, over-aged boys, because I gave the ladies some insider info on how to meet men, I feel I should return the favor and give you guys a tip.

A couple of years ago, Steve Harvey wrote a terrible piece of crap called “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” Some of the worst dating advice I have ever read (and I have read a lot) but the title is interesting and something I would suggest to all you men that read this blog – in fact, don’t just think like a lady, read like a lady.

How do you read like a lady? Well, next time you are waiting in line at the Whole Paycheck (err, Foods), pick up a magazine that caters to women, skim the table of contents for the “relationship” department, and start reading.

Too manly to be seen reading Women’s Health in public. Okay, I’ll summarize. Every woman’s magazine from the dawn of time has written and rewritten the same advice for women looking to meet men: Get out there ladies. Take a yoga class. Or a cooking class. Visit a museum. Blah. Blah. Blah.

However tired this advice is, the next time a woman receives an invitation to an event at a local museum that sounds interesting, she will sign up, find their cutest outfit (or buy a new one), and head out with the highest of hopes. Of course, when she gets there, it is a sea of well-dressed women looking for the same thing – a man interested in art (or yoga, or cooking).

Why am I telling you all of this? Umm, can you not picture it? I am talking about rooms filled with hot looking women that are interested in art (or yoga, or cooking) and are also interested in meeting someone new. We are talking ratios that seriously favor single dudes; odds that you won’t get at any bar or sporting event (another abused suggestion).

So why aren’t you there?