Sunday, August 2, 2009

L Is for The Way You Look at Me

Man, there is nothing like having a crush. And boy, have I missed this feeling.

I have missed this feeling so much that I tried forcing myself to have a crush on CK but to no avail. CK is just too damn perfect to be crush-worthy.

However, this weekend I have found my crush -- Rower Version 2.0 or R 2.0 for short.

I raced this weekend, twice; a women’s eight and a mixed eight (mixed as in there were both men and women in the boat). As I sat in one of the boathouses waiting for my second race to launch, a woman that was waiting with me introduced me to R 2.0. I was told he would be in my boat later.

I looked up (it was almost a strain on my neck as my new crush is very tall) and a little voice inside my head sang, “ding-dong.” I had found him.

I think he felt it too.

The next morning I woke up and the whole world felt lighter and brighter, despite the severe storms that were rolling through. It didn’t matter. I have a crush again.

I know it is silly. It is one of the things I can’t stand about myself. But having a crush makes me want to get up and workout. It makes me want to get gussied up and go out. I know I should want to do these things for myself, and I do. But a crush is such better motivation then training for a marathon or simple self-improvement.

Sigh. Maybe one day I will matter enough to myself to want to do these things just for me. But until then, I will use the fact that there is a chance I will run into R 2.0 to keep me running and rowing and applying mascara.

Is it really that terrible? After all, I am the one who is improved by all my effort.

Now, not everyone will be happy about this new crush -- Bridie for one thinks hanging out in Fairmount, making out with rowers is a step backwards. For the record, I haven’t made out with anyone -- yet. Nor do I have plans to hang out in Fairmount -- a lot.

Still, I have spent the last few years denying that I was a rower or an athlete, but I finally accepted that and look how happy I am. Maybe finally admitting that I have a thing for rowers will bring me the same sort of joy.


Tina Marina said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with having a crush. I mean, it seems like you're happy, just as witty as usual, and R2.0 at least has good taste in sports, right?

I never saw the "self-improvement- post-romantic-interest" as a bad thing, so to speak. I just see it as hoping to provoke interest in the exterior for hopes of provoking later interest in the tried and true inner beauty.

But I have to ask... why the lack of Bridie approval? Do you have a dubious past record with cute rowers, Tatiana? ;) *

*(emoticon necessary to indicate joking tone. Otherwise comes off bitchy)

Tatiana said...

Umm, Rowers are, how can I put this nicely, well, they tend to be a bit insular. Some say snobs. Others say elitist. After a few negative run-ins with rowers, Bridie decided they were beneath me. In most cases this was true, but figuratively and literally. But I think she would approve of the new crop of rowers I am meeting.