Friday, September 25, 2009

Obviously I Need A Towel Holder in My Bathroom

I think the single worst thing about being single is that moment when you finish your shower and you pull back the curtain and realize you don’t have a dry towel handy. Hell, you don't even have a wet towel in arm's reach.

There is no one around to scream to, no one to bring you a dry towel. Instead you have to walk to wherever it is you keep your towels, dripping the whole way and then walk back to the bathroom, careful not to slip in the puddles you created.

And if you do slip, there is that moment, just before you catch yourself that you wonder, what if I fall and hurt myself. How long will I lie here before someone finds me.

I took solace in the fact that Bridie and I were suppose to meet for drinks that night. But then I remembered it was only a tentative plan and really, there is a good chance that Bridie wouldn’t think much of it if she couldn’t get in touch with me tonight. She might assume I ended up going out with my mom’s coworker. In fact, there is a good chance no one would alert the authorities until I failed to show up for the Eagles’ tailgate on Sunday. I mean my friends know there is nothing that would keep me from a bird’s game.

And of course there was the realization that when I was found, I would still be naked.

Fortunately for everyone involved I was a stunt person in another life and was able to catch myself before I fell to my doom.


Bridie said...

Ok, a couple things to think about.
1. I would think twice if you didn't respond to my phone call or text as you ALWAYS respond promptly to phone calls and texts.
2. Your sister Lana would surely have taken notice of your lack of response and called the authorities - Lana back me up here.
3. I have a touch of clairvoyance and will know before you if you have fallen.
4. You fall big, but don't get hurt, remember? Oh, wait is that me?
5. Your big russian hands coupled with your spider man reflexes can stop 98% of your falls.
Just sayin.

Anonymous said...

Darkly funny, but too true! However, sounds like your friends have your back, or backside, as it were!


Anonymous said...