Monday, January 4, 2010

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of The Year

I love making resolutions.

Now, those of you that have not been with me since my Devil days, you won’t know that every year I promise to learn French and how to play tennis. I have been making this same resolution since I was 13 years old.

Now, my Aunt Zelda, who is so old she took Moses to the prom, was left a long time ago by her no-good husband for a younger, uglier bartender. Aunt Z moved into a townhouse, got some work done and made herself a bucket list (obviously this was way before the movie ever came out and actually some speculate the movie was inspired by my Aunt Z). Because my Aunt Z is fabulous her list contained really spectacular things like taking an African safari and volunteering in a refugee camp.

She is down to the last item on her list, learn to ski, which she refuses to do because she fears that once she has, her next chairlift ride will be to the hereafter. And now that the old girl has gone blind, it seems she will never learn to ski and will outlive us all.

My point? Well, my reasons for not learning French or how to play tennis are not nearly so interesting. It’s mostly because I am too lazy and have no one to practice either skill with. The Republican offered to teach me tennis, but I think he was just trying to get in my pants (or up my skirt as the case may be) and like so many things with the Republican, it never came to be.

So this year I am resolving to do things I can actually accomplish and that will make me a better, more interesting person. I am also choosing things that I can do every day as opposed to something I can put off until the weather is warmer.

What are these resolutions, you ask? Well, since they aren’t really private and I think it will help me keep them the more people know them, I will tell you. In no particular order they are: take more risks, care less about what others thing of me and take better care of myself.

Oh, and of course, finish the novel.

Sadly, it is already January 4 and I haven’t managed to keep a single one of these resolutions; which may be a new record for me. Honestly, by the first day of the new decade I had failed on the second and third. As for taking risks, on Two Street, I did call out to Hot Bartender and he did stop and chat, but that is where that ended. And really it wasn’t much of a risk as it was more an instinct to say hello to someone I knew than a conscious choice to take a chance on that guy I have been chasing most of the last decade.

Still, I will persevere and try to implement at least one of these resolutions by the end of this week. If not, by the end of the month for sure.